i am, at this very moment,
gathering myself for the send-off
and dealing with a paralyzing fear of failure.
in a skewed green room i simmered for hours last night
realizing shackleton's endurance
came from wrestling the expedition's rational failure
in order to be eternalized as a shifted sort of success.
i can only hope that this night will be different.
that i will close my eyes and slow my breathing
and sir ernest will bend to whisper in my dreamtime
i am understanding things daily.
impossibility allows excellence,
adversity allows affection,
capsizing leads to courage.
& so, we have predestined ourselves to fail, to fall,
to stand on ground that will shift beneath us
and force our thinking
into an expanse